Christmas Movies You Definitely Shouldn’t Watch With Your Family

The naughty Christmas movie is a venerable sub-genre, going back at least as far as 1974’s Black Christmas, a movie that scandalized audiences with the dual ideas that not only are people super horny during the holidays, they also are occasionally contemplating murder.

Black Christmas does not make our list of Christmas movies to avoid watching with your family because you should absolutely watch Black Christmas with your family: Everyone needs to understand the dangers of sorority house slashers during the holiday season. Meanwhile, there’s a new David Harbour-starring action-comedy about the literal Santa Claus fighting off hostage-taking mercenaries that you definitely don’t want to try to explain to your Aunt Carol (who is, let’s face it, exhausting).

Here are more movies that are best watched after the kids and/or Grandma have gone to bed—which isn’t to assume Grandma is uncool, only that you might not want to sit around after Christmas dinner watching Eyes Wide Shut with her.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Though I’d generally suggest not watching Eyes Wide Shut with the family at any time of year, Tom Cruise’s erotic journey through the holiday season might actually be an effective way to clear the house of stray aunties, uncles, and assorted other relatives who might have been preferred some sort of football situation to a depressing masked orgy. You can stream Eyes Wide Shut on Paramount+ or rent it from Prime Video.

Tangerine (2015)

On this particular Christmas Eve in Hollywood, Sin-Dee Rella (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez), a trans sex worker fresh out of jail, learns that her boyfriend has been cheating on her while she was away. She enlists a couple of friends on a mission to find and confront the one-time pimp. Though it’s utterly delightful, with some of the beats of an old-school girlfriend/buddy comedy, the language and adult-ish situations mean it’s probably not meant for the littlest ones (A Kid Like Jake, while not as good a movie as Tangerine, works pretty well if you’re looking for something trans- and enby-friendly that you could safely watch with the family). You can stream Tangerine on Netflix, Hulu, Tubi, Pluto TV, and Kanopy or rent it from Prime Video.

The Apartment (1960)

This one’s less overtly filthy than many other movies on this list—more appropriately categorized as a sex farce or even a romantic comedy than anything particularly raunchy. But it’s nonetheless about an insurance clerk (Jack Lemmon) who loans out his apartment to his bosses for their various extramarital affairs while falling for the elevator operator (Shirley MacLaine) who’s sleeping with his boss. Kids probably wouldn’t get it anyway, but it’s definitely not Miracle on 34th Street-level wholesome. You can stream The Apartment on Tubi, Freevee, and Prime Video.

A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)

The already-solid core cast of Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn gained strength with the addition of Susan Sarandon, Christine Baranski and Cheryl Hines for this Bad Moms sequel, taking things to a whole other level. It arrived just over a year after the first movie, giving it a bit of a slapdash feel, but one that works for a raunchy, women-led Christmas comedy. It mostly avoids the salty/sweet balance that made the original a hit, and instead aims right for the sassy jokes surrounding a holiday debacle. You can stream A Bad Moms Christmas on Netflix or rent it from Prime Video.

The Night Before (2015)

What else are you gonna do Christmas Eve other than spend the night with your best friends (Seth Rogan, Anthony Mackie, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt) at something called the Nutcracker Ball? Yeah, sounds awful to me, too. Luckily they’ve got a ton of drugs to get them through the night. If you’re worried about your kids absorbing a message that more or less boiled down to “drugs make things fun and funny,” this is best avoided. There is a slightly weird anti-steroid message here too, though, so I suppose it depends on what you’re most worried about. You can stream The Night Before on Starz or rent it from Prime Video.

The Ref (1994)

Denis Leary crams plenty of adult language into The Ref, but that’s really not the reason (or at least not the only reason) you probably don’t want to watch it with your family. Leary plays a crook who winds up taking a couple (Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey) hostage when a job goes wrong. The joke’s on him, because they’re at each other’s throats every moment. They’re the most bitter, hateful people imaginable, and Leary’s robber/hostage-taker winds up as not only the movie’s most likable character, but also the peacemaker, especially when the rest of the family shows up for Christmas Eve dinner. If you want to be horrified by a bunch of terrible in-laws, you probably don’t need to turn on the TV, is what I’m saying.You can rent The Ref on Prime Video.

Office Christmas Party (2016)

Though it ultimately lets down with a bit of holiday sentimentality at the end, there’s still plenty of raunch to be found in this Christmas comedy with a surprisingly stacked cast (Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Kate McKinnon, Olivia Munn, etc.). Still, that general air of naughtiness is an argument against sitting your family down for a Christmas Day viewing. On the other hand, maybe it’s good to teach your kids early on that a booze-, cocaine-, and sex-fueled office party is the kind of thing that should never, ever happen in real life for all sorts of reason. Trust me, you don’t want to do coke with your co-workers at office functions. You can rent Office Christmas Party from Prime Video.

Go (1999)

The story of a bungled Christmas drug deal wends its way through a rave, a pedestrian hit-and-run, a strip club, a Vegas threesome, and more than one shooting, Go sometimes gets overlooked amid the run of much inferior Pulp Fiction imitators of the late 1990s, but as unconventional Christmas movies go it’s right up there with Die Hard. But unless you want your kids to ask lots of questions about why shirtless, drug-dealing (but nevertheless hot) Santa is brandishing a gun and coming on to Katie Holmes, it’s best to leave it until they are nestled all snug in their beds. You can stream Go on Paramount+ or rent it from Prime Video.

Friday After Next (2002)

I’m not entirely sure that you should watch Friday After Next (which I would definitely not say about the non-seasonal original), and certainly not with your family—but as shamelessly filthy Christmas comedies go, it holds a certain appeal. In its favor, there’s not a ton of learning, sharing, or caring on display, which I can respect in a bit of cinematic holiday counterprogramming. If all you want for Christmas is a whole lotta prison rape jokes, this is definitely your movie. You can stream Friday After Next on Tubi.

Coopers’ Christmas (2008)

Shot in only 11 days, Coopers’ Christmas (AKA Coopers’ Camera) has a slightly tossed-off feel, and it’s all the better for it. Starring Jason Jones and Samantha Bee from The Daily Show, it’s set in 1985 and presented as a bit of found footage: The whole thing is presented as a recovered tape from an old family Christmas that also happens to have been taped over an old sex tape that pokes through every now and again. A wildly dysfunctional family celebrates a holiday together, with a nearly relentless run of often extremely raunchy jokes that hit more often than they miss. It’s a solid bit of holiday counter programming. You can stream Coopers’ Christmas (2008) on Prime Video and Tubi.

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (2011)

Sure, John Cho has become one of Hollywood’s more bankable actors, while Kal Penn’s been a White House staffer and an academic lecturer in media studies (while also continuing to act). None of that means that we can’t still enjoy their goofier sides in this stoner Christmas comedy—the last in the Harold & Kumar saga, and very much on par with the better-than-you’d-guess previous movies. It’s the kind of Christmas flick in which Santa smokes a bong on his holiday rounds and replacement urine for a drug test more than qualifies as a nice Christmas present. Other than the crude jokes and the pot humor, there’s a sweetness that makes it among the least objectionable of these offbeat holiday films. And I suppose if you were to put it on for the kids, you could talk about how well Harold and Kumar turned out despite (or because of) all the weed. Never mind, I’m reclassifying this one as wholesome fun for the whole family.You can stream A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas on Tubi or rent it from Prime Video.

The Ice Harvest (2005)

An entirely under-the-radar neo-noir from the late Harold Ramis, The Ice Harvest situates its action on Christmas Eve, a time when only the most interesting (and/or shadiest) people are out and about in the world. John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton play con men who just ripped off a mobster to the tune of $2 million. All they want to do is get out of town—a goal complicated by an ice storm that’s closed the roads, forcing them to cool their heels while avoiding their pursuers. You can rent The Ice Harvest from Prime Video.

Bad Santa (2003)

The platonic ideal of a rude Christmas movie, Terry Zwigoff’s Bad Santa stars Billy Bob Thornton as Willie Soke, a mall Santa who’s actually a con man, using his seasonal gigs to scope out stores that he can rob at night. He represents everything that you probably don’t want your kid to be around during the holidays (or anytime, really): he’s foul-mouthed, cynical, and abusive whenever he’s not putting on the merest hint of a front for the children. The film does offer a solid Christmas redemption arc in-between scenes of Santa fucking Rory Gilmore’s mom in a car, but that’s probably not enough to make you want to watch it with the littl’uns. You can stream Bad Santa on Paramount+ or rent it from Prime Video.

Calvaire (2004)

A psychological thriller with satirical overtones, Calvaire (a.k.a. The Ordeal) follows a singer, Marc (Laurent Lucas), who lives out of his van and makes his (rather meager) living by offering up covers of easy listening hits at retirement homes. On his way to a Christmas gig, he has a breakdown during a storm—bad luck. But it gets worse: The man who comes to his aid turns out to be a retired standup comedian, a dire warning sign if ever there was. Soon poor Marc is in an increasingly disturbing rural nightmare filled with amateur porn, animal sex, and forced cross-dressing of the kind that can completely ruin a holiday. We’re taught that singing for old people at Christmas is just about the nicest thing you can do, but Calvaire warns entertainers that it ain’t worth it without reliable transpo. You can stream Calvaire on Shudder or rent it from Prime Video.

Female Trouble (1974)

Christmas is the kickoff for the chaos that unfolds in this twisted John Waters’ classic. When she fails to receive the cha-cha heels she wanted from Santa, juvenile delinquent Dawn Davenport sets off on a lifetime’s worth of troublemaking, starting with a memorably nasty sexual encounter at the dump. It’s one of the most memorable holiday moments in movie history, and a stark lesson about the importance of giving your kids what they really want. You can rent Female Trouble on Fandango at Home, or buy it on Prime Video.